A fork in the road.

Yes, pageants.  I like them.  As fake and phony as some contestants may be (and I will keep names out of this) there are many who truly are genuine and wonderful people in their own right.  The Miss America Organization (you know, the one that has the talent competition?) awards tons of scholarships annually, allowing many women to go to college nearly for free (or at least reducing much of the cost for them).  Over the years, they've gone from being a bathing-beauty contest on the shores of Atlantic City, New Jersey, to a pageant that strongly identifies itself as a "scholarship organization" and is now located out of Las Vegas, Nevada.

Then you have the Miss USA pageant, which was created after Miss America 1955 Yolanda Betbeze didn't want to appear in a swimsuit after she won.  Sponsor Catalina Swimwear was so upset that they created the Miss USA pageant the next year, which counted equally in thirds swimwear, evening gown and interview- no talent competition.  Ownership has changed over the years, from Catalina to CBS to Donald Trump Miss USA was created specifically seeking beauty, and that is one thing that has stood the test of time.

So why all this talk about pageants?  Well, as with all nearly things, there comes a time when one becomes too old to continue participating in something (or just moves past it).  I am standing at a point in life where I am about to "age out" from Miss pageants.  I'm already too old to compete for any local, state, or national Miss America title, however, I still have two years left before I age out of Miss USA.  This realization has left me wondering- do I want to compete again?  Should I?  And most importantly, how would I afford it?

I competed in two Miss America local preliminary pageants when I was 17 and 18, but at that time I was young and didn't really understand what it takes to do well.  Now, I'm 24 and really think that I not only understand what it is that I would need to do to win but that I could do it.  Which leaves me here, wondering if it's reasonable, feasible to compete one more time.  I won't lie, I've always wanted to be the one to have her name called out as the winner.  To me, it's a testament that you can put your effort into something and succeed- really bring your "A" game.  But the economy is tough, and I don't even have a job- so I am stuck trying to weigh that against going out to local businesses and looking for sponsorships when I should probably just be looking for work (to which I then consider how hard I have been looking for work and yet not finding any).  

I have a decision to make, and while I'm not able to decide quite yet, just know that you may be seeing more on this later!